Mel’s Big Bong Of Bangers

Written by Melinda

I don’t usually write when I’m stoned but I can’t see any other way of reviewing this many 2022 stoner doom/rock albums. Iced coffee, Gatorade and other kind of improvised bottle bongs only please, no bourgeoisie stoner shit on my watch. If you want more tunes, check out our stoner playlist of my favorites from the last couple of years including these.



King Bastard – IT came from the void

Cosmic skeleton type stoner doom. Instrumental. Not a bad wake and bake choice for the background. What’s for breakfast? Gonna toast that bread with the seeds on the crust, peanut butter. There’s some cool samples used that drop little facts here and there about space accompanied by some cool jazz. Historically, space and jazz have always worked, throw in the feedback laden distortion of sludge and you have the chefs kiss of a combo. Love the bass and extra instruments. I’ve been smoking since 5am so it feels like I’ve been doing a wake n’ bake for an entire day, it’s almost lunch time and I got through one album.


Hazemaze – Blinded By The Wicked

A lot of us around here are familiar with Hazemaze already from their Twitter presence and excellent 2019 album Hymns Of The Damned. Right off the bat, Blinded By The Wicked is some of that traditional doom metal THE LORRRRD OF DARKNESSSS SENTENCED TO DEATH FOR ALL HIS CRIMES THE LORRRRRD OF DARKNESS ass doom music. That’s followed by “Devil’s Spawn” which is exactly what it sounds like, DEVILS SPAWWWWN BURN THEM TO THE GROOOOOUND DRAG THEM TO HELLLLLLLL. Yeah they’ve done a good one here, one of the best of the year if you ask me. This makes me want to go listen to Witchfinder General now but I came here with a purpose and must continue with new stoner releases.


Volcanova – Cosmic Bullshit

More of the cosmic skeleton type stoner doom. This time around it’s much more southern rock focused with clean gang vocals and barn dance guitar rhythms like ZZ Top. It is quite catchy. This kind of sound makes me wish I had thought to get beer for this, and that I had a pool. My neighbor has a pool and I sometimes sit outside and look at it. Digging the vocals on “Gold Coast” and overall vibe though that little hollow sounding drum is 50/50 working for me. Not a bad EP at all.


Fostermother – The Ocean

Whats for lunch? More of that bread with the seeds on the crust but with ham this time, and we’re drinking too much coffee. If god is real it’s wild to think she planted both coffee and weed like “some of these creatures will need to slow down, and some will need to speed up but only an idiot would do both”, or some kind of genius. This is a very good album, I like the long winded ghastly clean vocals, reminds me a little of Ozzy Osbourne. The guitars have a good prog flow and nice crunchy tone. Sick album artwork.

Obsidian Sea – Pathos

YES this is so epic, that really old school theatrical sound. I swear when I finish this article I will listen to Witchfinder General immediately. I’m glad bands are still honoring that vibe because its just such a jam. There are often long passages of instrumental that really space out the tracks in an interesting way, like a long song with little mini songs inside of them that explode out of nowhere during the noodling.

Deathbell – A Nocturnal Crossing

Occult rock type stoner doom where a lady sounds really far away and sad. It’s got a nice shoegaze flow to it with intricate guitar melodies and techniques. This one will go by quickly if you aren’t careful, I’ve listened like three times now for commentary because it keeps slipping by while im doing stuff. Very laid back and patience grooves. Kinda gothic.

Seven Nines And Tens – Over Opiated In A Forest Of Whispering Speakers

Alright lets get back into it, a new day and I’m going to try again since yesterday all I did was eat a bunch of bread and take extra naps. It seems there’s a limited window of productivity here. This first track is making me want to abandon my clothes and run off into the bushland. At it’s core this is a pretty fresh alt/post rock band with some memorable songs and then a kind of stoner rock filter has been applied perfectly over top. It’s like alt rock with distortion walls. I mean that in the best possible way, there’s such a good vibe in here.

Firebreather – Dwell In The Fog

A certified good time stoner doom album that is quite inspired by Mastodon but with more of a southern rock meets sludge tinge. Really powerful vocals and there’s a cool horse on the album cover, what more do you want?

Dungeon Weed – The Eye Of The Icosahedron

ONE THOUSAND YEAAARRRRRSSSSS, this is catchy and epic from the first track. The album is about 74 minutes long full of nerdy and occult tracks. Really sick guitars with distinct tones. Smoke weed, be esoteric.

Elk Witch – Beyond The Mountain

I won’t tell you what I’m having for breakfast on the second day, you already know. Who has the money to eat different food every day? Ridiculous. Money is for drugs and merch. Coyote and the Wind’s Daughter’s is such a bop of a track, it has a big 90s grunge kind of energy to it but with all the fuzz and prog rock of stoner genres. The final track The Plight Of Varus is a mostly chill bass driven track ending this well rounded release well.

Spiral Skies – Death is but a Door

Spicy 70s and 80s inspired prog rock with psychedelic classic rock vibes. The vocals are clean and poppy reminding me quite a bit of Heart. It’s not a part of the stoner genres as it’s pretty standard old school power rock music but if someone heard this coming from my yard with the smell of weed they would probably assume I’m a cool auntie or something. This album is really infectious and uplifting.

Bog Wizard vs Froglord – A Frog In The Bog

Let’s end this on a HIGH note. The raw nerd doom style of Bog Wizard meets the blackened swamp doom style of Froglord, and it works very nicely. It says versus but this is actually a really friendly split considering the Bog Wizard track titles are repping Froglord and the Froglord track titles are repping Bog Wizard and also, they both have a track that features the other artist on the track. This is the splittiest split to have ever been split. Its so big and powerful. Absurd amounts of distortion and crunchy lofi production come together to absolutely dominate your speakers. I’ve had a long term appreciation of Bog Wizard but this has completely sold me on Froglord, so badass. There’s no better pick for Wizard Wednesday, nor Frog Friday.

Witchfinder General – Death Penalty (1982)

I finished the article so now I get to listen to Witchfinder and it still rules. There was just something about 80s doom where they had an in studio energy and those vintage tones (which weren’t vintage at the time) which made for an entirely different atmosphere to now, even separate still from those bands who emulate them even still. People got mad at the time because of the album cover which is a photograph featuring topless model Joanne Latham, taken in… the yard of St Mary the Blessed Virgin Church in Enville, Staffordshire, without the permission of the local Reverend. This was a simpler times, before metal started burning churches and scaring away the ladies. R.I.P is the perfect album ender

Witchfinder General – Friends Of Hell (1983)

The immediate follow up, and they’re straight back to posing at churches with more topless models, but it’s actually the same church and somehow I doubt they got permission this time. Though hypothetically, if I were a Reverend, and some cool guys with pinup models wanted to take photos at the church, they would not be stopped and I would absolutely tell my congregation I didn’t give them permission (lie). The energy is even higher now and this album features one of my favorite tracks of theirs, the ballad “I Lost You” which is when I first heard them. Around the time I was learning acoustic guitar as a teen. And don’t confuse me for someone old enough to be around in the 80s, I found this well beyond it’s time using the internet in the early 00s and googled a guitar tab.