2026
March Release Spotlight
It’s April and you know what that means. It means that March fucking flew in, punched us in the nose, and left. Thank the metal gods we’ve got music to keep us steady. We had […]
Prog Metal
2026
February Release Spotlight
Another month down, another fresh set of horrors, another bunch of killer metal and metal-adjacent albums to help keep us sane. We’ve rounded up the February releases we think are most worthy of the spotlight, […]
2026
January Release Spotlight
Welcome to 2026, friends. The horrors persist, but so do we. So, as it turns out, do metal and hardcore, because the one month under the year’s belt provided us with plenty of damn good […]
2025
Kep’s Best Albums of 2025
Happy New Year, folks. It’s still before midnight here in Pacific Standard Time (aka the only time zone that matters) so legally speaking I’ve managed to fire this off while it’s still 2025. I listened […]
2025
Halloween Bloodbath: 6(66) All Hallows Releases You Need to Hear
Written by Kep Metal and Halloween go together like blood and guts. In fact, there’s usually a flood of metal releases on 10/31 even when it falls on a non-standard release day, just because so […]
2025
Album Review: An Abstract Illusion – “The Sleeping City” (Progressive Death)
Written by Kep An Abstract Illusion – The Sleeping City> Progressive death metal> Sweden> Releasing October 17> Willowtip Records We here at Noob Heavy were enormous fans of Woe, the 2022 sophomore release by Swedish progressive death powerhouse An […]
2025
The Best Things We Heard in April
Another month of 2025 is in the rearview mirror, and it featured some ass-kickers. No big preamble today: let’s dig into Noob Heavy’s favorite listens of the month! As always, albums we reviewed in full […]
2025
EP Review: Slaughtersun – “Black Marrow” (Death Metal)
Written by Kirk Slaughtersun – Black Marrow> Death metal> New Jersey, US> Released January 10> Independent/self-release New years are all about exploring new things, right? And while 2025 has started off a bit more like a […]
2024
Westin’s Top Albums of 2024
Written by Westin 2024 has been a year. Dealt with an overwhelmingly strong identity crisis, a serious burnout from that crisis resulting in a scant handful of full reviews from me, and got a new […]
2024
Kep’s Best of 2024
Written by Kep Welcome in, folks! This year, I decided to mix things up in the interest of shouting out the maximum amount of albums that deserve it: rather than a standard ordered list, I’m […]