Noob Heavy was started in March of 2019 by Carcassbomb. Over a surprisingly short time this transitioned into many projects and forms of underground promotion, eventually putting together a team from around the world united by a passion for writing about heavy music of all genres. That’s right, even core.

Carcassbomb (me), has the final say on what gets promoted on Noob Heavy but in no way tells the writers what to and what not to listen to in their lives nor expects them to be completely aware of all shithead bands or the signs. I refuse publication of Nationalist Socialist Black Metal and labels. I refuse publication of sex offenders and TERFS. If you have noticed such bands ignorantly covered on this site, please let me know below so I can assess the situation and takedown all promotions. There’s plenty of good riffs by good people so the scene needs to stop defending dickheads.

Melinda (Carcassbomb)

Editor/Writer/Podcaster
teamnoobheavy@gmail.com

Australia.

I do a lot of things to the best of my ability, whatever that means on any given day. I write reviews, interviews and host various other features on the site. I compile the Free Bandcamp Wiki and the Commissioning Artist List. I also write the Free Flush column covering NYOP Bandcamp releases at Toilet Ov Hell.

You can nearly read all of my reviews here.

I can’t review everything, sadly, as I do have disabled children to care for which occupies the majority of my days.

Kep
Kep

Editor, Writer

theoriginalkepreviews@gmail.com
Twitter

California, USA

I’m a full-time professional classical pianist and vocal coach, but I’m also a massive metalhead. It’s a passion of mine, so I’m all about supporting the underground, finding new gems along the way, and sharing them with others. Nothing gets me more excited than discovering a great new band and being able to boost their visibility.

Some of my favorite bands are: Coheed and Cambria, Hath, Gorguts, Vukari, Afterbirth, Periphery, Orphalis, Ahab, Ulthar, Imperium Dekadenz.

Follow me on Twitter to catch my music habits, listening recommendations, Detroit sports depression, political rants, gaming updates, beer nerdity, and periodic pics of my kids and cats.

Steven

Writer of Metal Redux section
Instagram / Facebook / Bandcamp / Twitter / Spotify
aeonsabyss@gmail.com

I’m from Melbourne, Australia and I’ve been a metalhead since the late 80s.

In the early 90s I started a metal band called Cataclysm, which was the perfect outlet for my brothers and my mates to write and play music locally. The band eventually disbanded in the mid 90s.

In 2017 I reincarnated my musical endeavours and started a new studio project; Death Metal band Aeons Abyss. Our first aim was to record and release all our 90s music, and we achieved this in 2019.

I really love the current underground metal scene, and the ability to connect with other metalheads via social media.

To that end, I often post about all things metal on my band’s Instagram account, and have started a series on Noob Heavy called Metal Redux, which is all about putting forward historic metal gems that are there to be rediscovered, especially for those new to the scene.

Espi Kvlt
Espi Kvlt

Writer

espikvlt@gmail.com
Band Links
Twitter
Instagram
Metallum
Personal Site

California, USA

I am nonbinary – my gender is cryptid vampire but you can just call me a “vamp” for short – and my pronouns are they/he.

I am a sex worker, horror writer, harpist, and metal vocalist in many bands (most of which are black metal, linked above). I have a B.A. in English-Writing and love to write in any way I can – stories, articles, lyrics, whatever, I’m happy as long as I have a pen in my hand. 

I fell in love with metal music thanks to my dad’s extensive CD collection where I was drawn to the cover of Megadeth’s Countdown to Extinction, heard “Sweating Bullets,” and fell in love. That turned into a love of emo and punk music as a teenager, but after I graduated high school, I fell back head over heels in love with metal when I discovered black metal, and it has been my favorite genre in the world ever since. I am also an anarchist-communist and am here to write about the intersection between queer issues, leftist issues, and black metal i.e. all of my biggest passions.

Ellis Heasley
Ellis Heasley

Writer

ellisheasley15@gmail.com
Twitter

Guildford, UK

I got into heavy music through the pretty standard avenues of Slipknot and Black Sabbath when I was in high school and I haven’t looked back since. Nowadays I am especially keen on pretty much any genre that ends in ‘core and would say my favourite bands are Converge, Cave In, The Chariot, Botch and Every Time I Die.

I try not to limit myself though. I am increasingly keen on a lot of death metal, although nowhere near the expert that Kep is, and if your music is doing something new or has something interesting or important to say I want to hear it regardless of genre.

John Angel
John Angel

Writer

fireattheplantationhouse@gmail.com
Instagram
Facebook
Twitter
FatPH Bandcamp
Icepick to the Face Bandcamp
HARJO Bandcamp

San Francisco, California

Hey there, I’m John! I’ve been a fan of heavy music since first hearing SOAD in middle school. Metal inspired me to pick up the guitar and I’ve been in and out of bands ever since. I studied classical music in college (I have opinions/advice on this if you’re interested) but came back to my first love afterwards. 

I currently have a handful of projects I’m in: Fire at the Plantation House (proggy death metal), Icepick to the Face (metallic mathcore), and HARJO (avante-garde, experimental). They all have exciting things coming soon! 

Writing about music is a new thing for me and I’m excited to spotlight new bands and share the nerdy things I enjoy about music!

Westin
Westin

Writer

Twitter

New York, USA

I’ve been in love with writing since middle school when I discovered my love of poetry. Since then I’ve gotten a degree in English Creative Writing, published a few poems, published a small scholarly paper, and have written for a few websites covering mostly gaming and now music. Writing is a major passion of mine and I love to be able to discuss my love for media through writing.

Although metal is my predominant love, I am a punk first and foremost; my favourite band of all time is Dead Kennedys. Some other favourites include: Anti-Flag, Between the Buried and Me, Black Dahlia Murder, Death, In Flames, Norther, Rolo Tomassi, Smoulder, Tricot, Venom Prison.

You can find me on Twitter, where I talk more about music, movies, poetry, and video games. I have a wide range of interests in all of those categories (especially music).

Valkyrjiaa
Valkyrjiaa


Writer

valkyrjia_@hotmail.com
Twitter
Instagram
Valkyrjian Reviews

Ontario, Canada

Writer, lyricist, and all-around Creative Cryptid. I hold honours in both Creative Writing, as well as English Writing, I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember from short stories to poetry, and (more recently) lyrics! I’m an avid cosplayer, having made and debuted many hand-made costumes and props for more than a decade. I believe that everyone should have a creative outlet where they can explore their imagination and creative capabilities, and writing is one of those for me! 

I got more deeply involved with the music scene in 2019 by working with the band Illumishade as a concept writer – helping to create a world, lore, characters and much more. From there I began to assist on the lyrical front and well… here we are! If you’ve learned anything thus far, you’ll see I’m HEAVY into symphonic, power, and melodic metal subgenres but, I’m not one to shy away from country, pop, and the others if the vibe is right.

You can find me lurking Twitter and IG for the most part, occasionally blasting my opinion about some off topic or another.

Helena (she/her)
Helena (she/her)


Writer

Twitter
Bandcamp

As one Twitter user put it, “That bitch that puts out 40-minute experimental guitar recordings”. Her musical practice is mainly in the weird cross-section of free improvisation and metal. Although she has no formal training in musical theory and composition, she has been putting out music under various pseudonyms and project names for almost ten years. Helena’s main creative outlet is under her own name and The Human Veil on Bandcamp. Her education is instead focused on literary analysis, particularly through a post-colonial and feminist lens. Her hobbies include geeking out about music theory and whatever band is her current hyper-fixation, as well as philosophy, horror movies, and books that use words that are just too big. When she’s not affixing strange objects to her guitar, she can be found on Twitter talking about Elden Ring, musical genres, and just being a general weirdo.