2026
March Release Spotlight
It’s April and you know what that means. It means that March fucking flew in, punched us in the nose, and left. Thank the metal gods we’ve got music to keep us steady. We had […]
Heavy Metal
2026
February Release Spotlight
Another month down, another fresh set of horrors, another bunch of killer metal and metal-adjacent albums to help keep us sane. We’ve rounded up the February releases we think are most worthy of the spotlight, […]
2025
Kep’s Best Albums of 2025
Happy New Year, folks. It’s still before midnight here in Pacific Standard Time (aka the only time zone that matters) so legally speaking I’ve managed to fire this off while it’s still 2025. I listened […]
2025
The Best Things We Heard in September
How’s it going, chat? You hanging in there? We’re doing our best here at the site. All sorts of things are happening in the world: the days are getting colder, the fascism is growing stronger, […]
2025
Noob Heavy’s 2025 Mid-year Best Albums
Welcome to July 2025, folks. Shit’s, uh, shit’s tough out there. We get it. But the music is good, and we writing staff got our heads together and decided on a special feature to mark […]
2025
The Best Things We Heard in January
Written by Kep, Kirk, and Ellis It’s a new year, and with the new year we’ve got a new monthly article for you, dear reader. Each month some of our writers will each choose an […]
2024
Westin’s Top Albums of 2024
Written by Westin 2024 has been a year. Dealt with an overwhelmingly strong identity crisis, a serious burnout from that crisis resulting in a scant handful of full reviews from me, and got a new […]
2024
Kep’s Best of 2024
Written by Kep Welcome in, folks! This year, I decided to mix things up in the interest of shouting out the maximum amount of albums that deserve it: rather than a standard ordered list, I’m […]
2024
Kirk’s Top Releases of 2024
Written by Kirk What’s shakin’ loyal Noob Heavy reader! Guess what? We’ve crossed the halfway point of December, which means it’s officially LIST SEASON. And believe me when I tell you these are gonna be some killer lists; […]
2024
Nifty November
Written by Kep, Westin, and Kirk After a bit of a break from our usual monthly roundups, we’re back again for the last one of the year. November was packed to the gills with good […]