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    Album Review: Slaughterday – “Dread Emperor” (Death Metal)

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    January Release Spotlight

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    Track Premiere: Ashenheart – “Stars Wept to the Sea”

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2025

Demolicious Derby IV: THE BIG CATCH-UP 2025

December 18, 2025 Ellis Heasley

Written by Ellis YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Here we are, last Demolicious Derby of the year. Rather than just covering the last three months as per previous installments (I, II, and III), I figured I’d expand this to […]

2025

Halloween Bloodbath: 6(66) All Hallows Releases You Need to Hear

October 29, 2025 Noob Heavy admin

Written by Kep Metal and Halloween go together like blood and guts. In fact, there’s usually a flood of metal releases on 10/31 even when it falls on a non-standard release day, just because so […]

2025

EP Review: Torture Hammer – “Torture Hammer” (Death Metal)

October 23, 2025 Noob Heavy admin

Written by Kep Torture Hammer – Torture Hammer> Death metal> California, US> Releasing October 24> Creator-Destructor Records Sometimes when I’m writing about death metal I use flowery language and big words. I talk about a richness of […]

2025

Album Review: An Abstract Illusion – “The Sleeping City” (Progressive Death)

October 15, 2025 Noob Heavy admin

Written by Kep An Abstract Illusion – The Sleeping City> Progressive death metal> Sweden> Releasing October 17> Willowtip Records We here at Noob Heavy were enormous fans of Woe, the 2022 sophomore release by Swedish progressive death powerhouse An […]

2025

Demolicious Derby III: 10 Rad Hardcore Demos from July-September 2025

October 8, 2025 Ellis Heasley

Written by Ellis Yo sorry this one’s already a bit late because my son had an ear infection but I showed him the Disgrace Tied Down set which seemed to help a bit. Without further […]

2025

The Best Things We Heard in September

October 1, 2025 Noob Heavy admin

How’s it going, chat? You hanging in there? We’re doing our best here at the site. All sorts of things are happening in the world: the days are getting colder, the fascism is growing stronger, […]

20 Buck Spin

Album Review: Ritual Mass – “Cascading Misery” (Death Metal)

September 3, 2025 Noob Heavy admin

Written by Kep Ritual Mass – Cascading Misery> Death metal> Pennsylvania, US> Releasing September 5> 20 Buck Spin Sometimes I like to challenge a new death metal album to fuck me up real good. Like I’ll literally […]

2025

The Best Things We Heard in August

September 2, 2025 Noob Heavy admin

Welcome to September, folks. Time remains swift and the world remains a nightmare. The writing team has been swamped with real life responsibilities and stresses, so our review game has been a little weak recently. […]

2025

Album Review: Castrator – “Coronation of the Grotesque” (Death Metal)

August 14, 2025 Noob Heavy admin

Written by Kep Castrator – Coronation of the Grotesque> Death metal> US> Releasing August 15> Dark Descent Records I wrote about Castrator back in 2022, when they dropped their debut full-length Defiled in Oblivion. Let’s go to the tape: “Defiled […]

2025

The Best Things We Heard in July

August 5, 2025 Noob Heavy admin

Another month has come and gone in our endless trudge through ruin and misery. Onward we march, accompanied only by our own thoughts…AND some kickass metal and metal-adjacent tunes. July saw some truly special releases, […]

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