2025
The Best Things We Heard in September
How’s it going, chat? You hanging in there? We’re doing our best here at the site. All sorts of things are happening in the world: the days are getting colder, the fascism is growing stronger, […]
Heavy Metal
2025
The Best Things We Heard in July
Another month has come and gone in our endless trudge through ruin and misery. Onward we march, accompanied only by our own thoughts…AND some kickass metal and metal-adjacent tunes. July saw some truly special releases, […]
2025
Noob Heavy’s 2025 Mid-year Best Albums
Welcome to July 2025, folks. Shit’s, uh, shit’s tough out there. We get it. But the music is good, and we writing staff got our heads together and decided on a special feature to mark […]
2024
Kirk’s Top Releases of 2024
Written by Kirk What’s shakin’ loyal Noob Heavy reader! Guess what? We’ve crossed the halfway point of December, which means it’s officially LIST SEASON. And believe me when I tell you these are gonna be some killer lists; […]
2024
Nifty November
Written by Kep, Westin, and Kirk After a bit of a break from our usual monthly roundups, we’re back again for the last one of the year. November was packed to the gills with good […]
2024
August August
Written by Westin, Kirk, Ellis, and Kep Welcome back to your regularly scheduled monthly roundup from Noob Heavy. We covered some kickass music this month and we’re about to cover more kickass music. Buckle up; […]
2024
Album Review: Castle Rat – “Into the Realm” (Doom/Trad Metal)
Written by Kirk Castle Rat — Into the Realm> Doom/trad metal> Brooklyn, NY> Releasing April 12> King Volume Records Somewhere deep in the heart of Brooklyn stands a lonely hill, lost and forgotten to the […]
2024
Mad, Mad March
Written by Kep, Westin, Ellis, and Kirk March felt like the first truly packed month of 2024 as far as releases go, as we were swamped by a tidal wave of Extremely Good Shit. We […]
2024
February Finds
Written by Westin, Ellis, Kep, and Kirk Well friends, February is over and March has arrived. The neverending trudge of time carries on heedless of our protests and priorities. Each day brings us yet another […]
2023
No(thingbutbangers)vember
Written by Kep, Westin, Ellis, and Kirk Look, I’m not gonna lie to you. We slacked off a little in November. Life was busy, especially for your friendly editor. But you know who didn’t slack […]