Year’s End With Melinda

Written by Melinda (18+ only) Melinda here, been laying low a couple months but I was merely studying the sword and now I’m back on my bullshit. If you’re new here, I run this website, I’m trans and I say stupid shit about sub genres a lot. In fact I even do that thing hardcore…

Roundup: November Notables

Written by Kep, Melinda, Westin, and Greg Schwan We’re getting there, folks: this extremely silly year is almost over. I have a feeling that this will be the last monthly roundup of 2022, as December releases are usually pretty light, and it’s coming up on AOTY list time here at Noob Heavy. So without further…

Roundup: July Jams & Jigs

Written by Melinda, Kep, Westin, Barlovv & Ellis I don’t know what you expect me to say in this opening paragraph anymore. We all know how months work and we’re all here for the same thing: to quickly read about a dozen or so albums our writers thought was cool out of the absurd amount…

Roundup: June Jollies

Written by Melinda, Barlovv, Kep and Ellis Heasley A mix of fresh mini reviews mixed with excerpts from larger reviews the team did of June releases. Underground metal and hardcore big and small. Pick and choose, or just shuffle this play list and let the jolly of June surprise you. But be sure to listen…

Melinda’s Mid Year Selections

We made it to the halfway point of another fucked up year, woo. For those who enjoy these kinds of lists, here’s the coolest shit I (Melinda aka Carcassbomb) has heard this year. 20 albums, so strap in (this article has undergone 53 revisions, I have a problem). As per my usual curation, expect a…

Roundup: May Macrodose

A big bag of albums we’ve been listening to that came out in May. Albums picked by Kep, Barlovv, Ellis and Melinda. Below is the Noob Heavy 2022 release radar for metal and hardcore, for those looking to catch up. Cave In – Heavy Pendulum Posthardcore from Boston, USARelapse Records The much anticipated return album…

Album Review: Lunar Blood – “Twilight Insurgency” (RABM/Death)

Written by Melinda >Lunar Blood – Twilight Insurgency> Red & Anarchist black metal/death metal>New Jersey, USA>Released February 18, 2022>Bandcamp Link “Killing us under cover of law all this violence takes its toll we’ll arm ourselves. Bars and clubs turn to armories new black coffins for old white men” Absolutely uncompromising antifascist blackened death metal from…

Roundup: April Assortments & Atrocities

Another month and yet another roundup article, I’m actually sticking to this one! The scribes this month are Kep, April, Ellis and Melinda (thats me, I don’t have twitter anymore and IG banned me for having 1312 in my @ so I use Discord: Melinda#5425). Some exciting picks this month from familiar bands and a…

Mel’s Big Bong Of Bangers

Written by Melinda I don’t usually write when I’m stoned but I can’t see any other way of reviewing this many 2022 stoner doom/rock albums. Iced coffee, Gatorade and other kind of improvised bottle bongs only please, no bourgeoisie stoner shit on my watch. If you want more tunes, check out our stoner playlist of…

Noob Heavy’s January Jams

Written by Melinda, Kep, Espi Kvlt, Zax and Valky We used to do a weekly roundup but it’s so hard to get going in the new year, who wants to pay attention to anything during January? Welcome to the monthly roundup which includes many new mini reviews from the team as well as highlighting some…

Melinda’s Top 69 Albums of 2021

Melinda Hey, when you’re done with my list below or even just open these in a tab now, I’ve conveniently listed all of our contributor end of year articles from all the cool people I invited to share their picks. And also my other list for Toilet Ov Hell Free Flush of course (which has…

Last Friday This Week: 19th November Release Day

Written by Melinda, Espi Kvlt, Kep, Ellis & Valky Big release week (last week), we had some big albums like Converge & Chelsea Wolfe which Melinda covered in full, and also Swallow The Sun which she will surely cover soon. Why is she talking about herself in the third person? Well, below are release day…

Album Review: Trophy Scars – “Astral Pariah” (Post Hardcore)

Written by Melinda Trophy scars – Astral PariahPost Hardcore/Progressive blues from New Jersey, USAReleased September 10, 2021 I am the blanket of death between the moon and the stars One of my all time favourite post hardcore bands are still going strong with their new progressive blues style of very-post-hardcore that I have enjoyed watching…

Album Review: Blind Equation – “Life Is Pain” (Cybergrind)

Written by Melinda Blind Equation – Life Is PainEmotional cybergrind from Illinois, USAReleased September 3, 2021Independent (Name Your Own Price) I would rather die than think like you. Another dull blade stuck in the sands of time. Emotional cybergrind. That’s the review. But I’ll continue for those who enjoy reading and maybe don’t know what…

Please Sir, I Want Some Core Vol 3 (XXL Edition)

Written by Carcassbomb Alright you dumpy fucks, Ellis had to go take a piss and so now I’m taking over and overdoing it. Find the kind of hardcore you like and go listen to it. Some real barn burners (Or perhaps Bridge Burners, eh?) in this mix with a line of lyric for flavour text…

Album Review: Filth Is Eternal – “Love Is a Lie, Filth Is Eternal” 8/10 (Hardcore)

Written by Carcassbomb Filth Is Eternal – Love Is A Lie, Filth Is EternalHardcore Punk from Seattle, WashingtonReleased August 27th, 20218/10 BODY CHAOS. BLOODY JAW. Some of you may have been familiar with the hardcore band Fucked & Bound and their belligerent floor pounding live shows. If you’ve wondered where they went to, they’ve rebranded…

Album Review: MouthBreather – “I’m Sorry Mr. Salesman” 9/10 (Hardcore)

Written by Carcassbomb MouthBreather – I’m Sorry Mr. SalesmanExperimental hardcore from Boston, USAReleased August 13th, 2021Via Good Fight Music9/10 CHAOS AROUND ME, CHAOS AROUND ME. Hardcore in recent times has become heavily centred around being constantly technical and memey. This new album from MouthBreather takes us back to the more barbaric style of “what if…

Album Review: Nothing Noble – “Modern Dismay” 8/10 (Prog Metalcore)

Written by Carcassbomb Nothing Noble – Mordern DismayProgressive Metalcore from DenmarkReleased August 6th, 20218/10 Long time readers of Noob Heavy might be aware of my contempt for progressive metalcore, particularly as an Australian where the mainstream music scene is flooded with samey sounding bands in the genre. I have been so brutal towards progressive metalcore,…

Album Review: Mordkaul – “Dress Code: Blood” 7/10 (Melo Death)

Written by Carcassbomb Mordkaul – Dress Code: BloodMelodic Death from BelgiumReleased 29th January, 2021Via WormHoleDeath 7/10 I remember seeing this album title a while back on social media and I think a lot of people, including myself, had incorrect assumptions based on seeing “Dress Code: Blood”. It sounds like something I guess you’d expect from…

Album Review: Dr Colossus – “I’m a Stupid Moron With an Ugly Face and A Big Butt and my Butt Smells and I Like to Kiss My Own Butt” 9/10 (Stoner Doom)

This is a big one for me, Dr Colossus have been my favorite Australian band since flooring me with The Dank in 2018. They combined good old Aussie stoner rock and stories told using The Simpsons. Fans of the show will have unlimited fun picking apart the references, I know I did with The Dank…

Album Review: Breaths – “Lined In Silver” 8/10 (Post Metal)

Lined In Silver is simultaneously familiar sounding and also filled with intrigue. Disband your expectations and let the album unfold because it does not persist as it initially presents, which is something much closer to Deftones. It’s a comforting album that I play regularly, there are great storytelling instrumentals narrated by a very capable vocalist…

Microdose: New Splits Volume 1

Splitmania! It’s time to review some new splits coming out and recently released that have caught my eye and to showcase the bands on either side. A lot of experimental music, which is the best use of a split if you ask me. Delve in and explore the bands that make each side special.

SPIRIT ADRIFT release new single “Astral Levitation”, off of new album “Enlightened In Eternity”, out October 16th

Here’s the details and a taste of the upcoming Spirit Adrift album, following their 2019 underground hit Divided By Darkness which caught the attention of many metalheads with it’s classic stylistic artwork by Joe Petagno. Newcomers prepared to be warmed by the classic Heavy Metal sound wrought with modern tones. There’s also details surrounding a…

Switch Review: Pokemon Sword 4/10

If you’re a 30 year old gamer boy like I am then you’ve probably played every generation of Pokemon from Blue & Red to Black & White, very much like myself. We spent months playing a single game as a child, binged them in weekends as a teen and as adults we still revisit some…

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Carcassbomb

noobheavyau@gmail.com

Australian. Owner of Noob Heavy, writer at Toilet Ov Hell, Podcaster and PR person. Studying a Bachelor of Fine Arts (Creative and Professional Writing). I can be a real grumbly mother fucker and I can be entirely supportive depending on the day, either way I tweet too much. Noob Heavy Radio is one of my favorite projects, It’s insane the interviews I’ve been able to do in 2020 like Jonas from Katatonia, Trevor from The Black Dahlia Murder and Schmier from Destruction. I also got to do a written interview with none other than Tommy Giles from Between The Buried And Me. Massive brags but fuck you, this is literally my page on my website on my computer in my room. I also have a lot of metal cassettes in here. Oh and I play guitar but not cool enough to join a band and not good enough to learn how to use Reaper properly.